This is something that is hard for me to talk about and I didn't think I would come out and blog about it. But I feel enough time has passed that I feel comfortable talking about it and it is something I can look back at and laugh.
So I went to Italy with plans of staying with family there. My aunt was living there with one of her daughters. I know my aunt from times I have been to El Salvador and even though she is my grandmother's half sister, in my family we don't discriminate, being that I also have a half sister. Anyway, I was going to Italy to a familiar face, but my cousin that she lived with I had never met.
They were nice enough to take me in, give me a place to sleep, and food to eat, and also allowed me to come and go from volunteer projects as I pleased. I thank them and appreciate them for that. I don't think I would have coped well with the transition if it wasn't as smooth as they helped it to be.
The only thing was that my cousin wasn't in a good part of her life at the time. She was having husband and financial difficulties and kept saying how hard life was for her. While I stayed with my cousin, whenever I wasn't out volunteering, I was at home, either listening to my aunt about how much she wanted to go back home to El Salvador, or to my cousin about her man, money, and life problems.
I find that on my gap year, I have made a huge difference in the lives of the people I have stayed with. Every single person wants to talk and be heard, and it is always about their problems, sometimes about happy things, and at times, talking just to talk.
Anyway, it came the time that my cousin said she could not have me at her house anymore. She let me stay there for free, other than me pitching in for groceries now and then, and I appreciated everything she did for me, so I just accepted and moved on. She did connect me with her ex-husband's cousin who I understood was renting a room. So I decided to move in there, since I really didn't have any other choice.
It was great at first. Everyone was super nice to me because I was young and because I was away from my family. But they started to put ideas into my head about my cousin and why she kicked me out. Apparently my cousin had been calling my new landlady Eva, and complaining about me. None of this she ever said to my face of course, even when I went to visit. It was all smiles and nice conversation.
But then I realised that at my landlady's house, she didn't have a room, she just had a bed, her bed at that! For some reason she liked sleeping in the kitchen so she rented her bed to me. I figured what the hell. I'm safe, I'm full, I'm clean, and these people are nice. It was just going to be my place to come and go out of anyway.
I'd been living there about a week and a half and after volunteering during the day, I spent my afternoons with my roommates. Two older Salvadorean women, who were both lesbians. That didn't bother me of course. I could care less, but it was interesting to live with them. The dirty jokes never ceased, and the laughs never did either. It was new, but nothing I couldn't deal with.
Until the day before my birthday. It was November 22nd, and we were having our usual dinner together after a day's work of volunteering and they were having a couple of drinks. I don't like the taste of beer so I participated with Coca Cola, usually something I never drink, but abroad, it had a bitter sweet taste of home.
After a couple of drinks, more than a couple of drinks, Eva, my landlady starts dedicating me songs. I'm flattered at first, because it was a nice gesture, and I wasn't uncomfortable until she just straight out confessed that she liked me, a lot. Oh lord that freaked me out. Not only was she not attractive, she was old! She was my mother's age and in this age in time, she could have been my grandmother! I was so grossed out I didn't know what to say. So that's why she was being so nice to me. Not just nice, but out of her way nice, like bringing me goodies from the bakery, buying Coca Cola because she knew I liked it. I thought it was pity, and I was okay with it. But not it just made me so uncomfortable, that night I cried myself to sleep. I wasn't afraid of her, I had just never been in that position ever sand the discomfort combined with being away from home, with being kicked out of my cousins house, just was a little too much for me.
After that, I made it clear to her that while I was flattered, I was not a lesbian, wasn't looking to experiment with her, and that if she crossed the line with me I would leave at the moment and I didn't care if I didn't know where I was going. She got the message, but she continued to be really nice to me. I told her, I'm not going to give you anything so if you are doing this to try and win me over. It's not going to work. And that's how I lived the last days of me living there, even after I returned from home, I told her, it's not going to work, you don't need to buy me that, I can buy it myself, but still she persisted. I must say though, she treated me better than a lot of guys have, haha. Now I can look back and laugh. Even as I was leaving Rome to come to Australia, she told me that if things didn't go well, I didn't have to suffer, she would buy me a ticket back to Italy. Yeah right! Like I would back down just because things got tough, and needless to say, why would I run to her? Back to Italy? Lord, you only give us what we can handle. Thank you, because you must think I am much stronger than I thought.
In all, I look back and just think, how many people not only have guys after them, but old Salvadorean ladies that want to give you everything? She said that to me once, you won't have to work, I'll take care of you. I said, funny, you sound just like a man. I think that pissed her off. But whatever, I don't need anyone to take care of me and give me everything. I have never lived that way and don't plan on starting now.
She is my friend on Facebook and I don't regret meeting her. After the not so friendly Welcome at my cousins, I got this a little too friendly lesbian landlady. Now I'm confident that I can deal with anything that comes my way. Phew, but I'm glad it's over.
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