Stockholm!

There is no better way to end a trip to Sweden than with shopping. Not only did I get to see Stockholm, Sweden’s capital, up close with my very own Swedish tour guide, I also bought a dress for my sister’s wedding! That was preoccupying my worries, phew.

            We arrived in Stockholm early morning and spent the entire day out and about, walking around the city, in and out of stores, and of course to see the Castle and the old Swedish town. To my surprise, there really was an H&M on almost every corner. And boy was it cold! No matter, it was an awesome day!

            I imagine that Stockholm is what New York City might look like. Except, without the Castle where the king and queen live. But, all the buildings and windows, and all the stores, it was so much fun! I got to see the guards standing outside the Castle, and even got a few pictures before my camera died.

            The old town was what Sweden was like hundreds of years ago. It’s funny because the really old houses are expensive, and the new modern houses are expensive, too. It must be hard to find cheaper houses built in the right time zone.

            I also had McDonalds for lunch. I felt so American, which is a shame. But it was good. Too bad they don’t have a Bojangles, or a cookout, or a Cosmic!!

            We ended the day cold, tired, with a few bags in our hands, happy, a little hungry, but ready to be home. It was awesome! I am so glad that I went with Anna, it wouldn’t have been as fun or as much of a cultural experience without her. Yay! Now I can say I have been to Stockholm. Where I will end up next? Oh yeah! Spain, here I come J

How does Swedish sound to you?

I spent Nov.4^th through Nov.13^th in Sweden visiting my friend Anna. I stayed with her and her family. It was very relaxing and it felt nice to be in a “homey” atmosphere. Her parents were super nice and hospitable. I felt welcomed and safe and warm! It was very cold in Sweden while I was there. Freezing temperatures were about 20 degrees (Celsius) colder than in Milan.

            The low temperatures were accompanied by short days where the sun would set around four thirty. I wasn’t used to the cold or to the darkness, but the sunsets and sunrises made it worth it. The most beautiful displays of light I have ever seen! The shades and intensity of the sunrise and sunset made me feel so warm inside, despite the cold outside. It was so beautiful that no matter how eloquent my description, it will not do it justice. I also lament, that no matter how vivid my recollection of the moment is, it will never be as beautiful as seeing it live.

            During the week I went with Anna to school. While Anna was in her usual classes where only Swedish was spoken, I would sit in to the Spanish and English classes. It was a cool experience to be surrounded by the Swedish students, who were trying to learn English and Spanish and more about the American and Latino culture. It was perfect timing for me to visit. I would introduce myself, in the language of the class I was in, and then the class would ask me questions. I would explain that I was born and raised in America, and that my parents were originally from El Salvador. I realized that saying I am from the United States in like saying I am from Europe. It is not specific and people always want to know what state and what city. When I said North Carolina, most people had no idea where it was, and a few thought it was in the north. I got used to saying that it is on the east coast, near the middle. I always added in that I love North Carolina because it is one of the only states that has the coast, the mountains, and the plains within a few hours drive of each other; even though I have never been to the mountains of North Carolina. No, that’s a lie! I have been to the Blue Ridge Mountains with Duke’s “Step into the Wild” through Mr.Gaspar and my Outdoor Ed class. It was my first time in the mountains and they don’t call them “Blue Ridge” for nothing.

            Anyway, the students would then ask me questions about America. A few of the questions I couldn’t answer. Some questions were like this: what is New York like? Have you seen the Hollywood sign? Do you get to meet famous people on the streets? Have you been to Disney World? Or Miami? Chicago? Texas? Even though I have seen the Hollywood sign, on my adventures seeing the world, I realized I haven’t seen so much of the US that I must see. As an American, it’s an embarrassment not to have been to all these places that my country is famous for. I haven’t been to New York or Miami, or many other places. But after my gap year, I am sure I will be better equipped to travel the states and to get the most out of a tourist experience.            

            These questions were the some of the stereotypical misconceptions foreigners have of the United States. It was funny to see them in action. But others were more serious, like: Are there many Latinos in the area where you live? What is the weather like in Durham, North Carolina? How does your high school compare to Swedish high school? And the question I heard most often: How does Swedish sound to you? Apparently, when asked that, many foreigners say that it sounds like they are singing. I don’t think it sounds like they are singing exactly, but their language has many ups and downs in pronunciation and is very melodic. It is euphonious is comparison to German, where at times I couldn’t figure out if they were in a heated argument, or just telling a really funny joke. I have gotten used to not understanding what is being said around me, and now instead of trying to laugh when everyone else laughs, I occupy myself with other things, like the food on my plate or the decorations on the wall. I get so distracted that I don’t realize when I am being addressed in my own language. Instead of being left out, I have tried immerging myself into the languages I am surrounded by as well.

            I learned a few words in Swedish and am proud of the ones I remember. “Vatten”, which means water, was one of the first ones I learned. One of my favorites is “fredagsmys” which doesn’t have a direct translation but means something like, Friday happy chill time, with some tea around the fire. Lol. J Anna’s mom tried to teach me some Swedish but I would always forget, as the pronunciation was difficult to remember. I also learned one of the first things people want to learn in another language; how to say I love you. “Jag Alskar Dig” pronounced like “yog elscaar dey” more or less.

            Swedish school reminds me of college. Students are in specified programs for their career already. They don’t have school all day, class after class. They have time slots where they may or may not have a class, where they get to sleep in a day or two during the week, and sometimes have a three-hour break between classes. I liked to see the difference between Swedish and American cultures; it also made me want to be in school again.

            Overall, I got to help out with the classes and get some volunteer work in while also getting to see what life in Sweden was like for Anna. I enjoyed it very much and I told Anna that just as I had promised to go see her and I did, the next time I would return would be for her wedding. That gives me some time to save up again for the trip! Tack Anna and your family and Sweden! Tack for the hospitality and the experience of a lifetime.

Update from Sweden

I decided to come to Sweden the same way I decided to take a gap year; because I could. When an opportunity presents itself to me, I will most likely take it. After watching the movie, Yes Man, with Jim Carrey, it got me thinking about how I make decisions. It make me consider why I chose to say Yes and say No. When it came to meeting people, or doing something I had never done before, I usually sided with my fear. Taking the safe way and staying in my comfort zone and saying No. But I began to try new things and I liked it. I developed a new mind set and thought, if I have no real reason to say No, I will say Yes and see where life takes me.
With that mind set, I not only applied for the gap year scholarship, but I put aside the conventional way I used to think and postponed going to college. Now, I find myself in Sweden visiting my friend Anna. I honestly thought I would never see her again after she left America. But I told myself that if the opportunity to come to Sweden and see her again ever arose, I would take it. And here I am :) I have seen Milan, parts of Tuscany, been to airports in London and Germany, made friends with people from all over the world and travelled by myself. All things I didn't see happening so soon, or at all for that matter.
Being in Europe has helped me see how plausible things I thought were impossible are. I see now how much I limit myself, how much I underestimated myself, and now I want to stop dreaming and planning about doing things and actually go out and do them.
In December I will go to Spain and see Barcelona. I am very excited to go there, but have not decided if I hate traveling or love it. The stress of getting places I have never been, trying to communicate with people through means of charades and hand gestures, being lost at airports, going through security multiple times, hearing "Welcome to Stockhom", seeing long lost friends again, meeting new ones, and the victory that making it where I am trying to get is in itself.
I love the feeling of being in a new place. I love moments when I stop, look back, look around, and think  "Where the hell am I?" or "What the hell am I doing here?". I smile to myself, giggle out loud, and don't care who is looking. Because no one knows who I am, what I am going through, and will probably never see me again.
I am getting used to being alone and have learned not to talk to myself, not to worry if someone saw me do something stupid (because they probably did and don't care), and to walk like I know where I am going even if I don't.
When it comes to my volunteer work, so far I have volunteered with UNICEF selling orchids, helped out at a local church in Milan, worked on a farm owned by Germans and harvested olives. This week I will go to Anna's school and help out in the English and Spanish classes while she goes to class. Then... I will go wherever life takes me :)

This entry is dedicated to my good friend, Brent Piephoff

My decision of taking a gap year was completely dependent on receiving the Gap Year Fellowship. I always had a plan for school: get good grades and be successful in high school, get accepted to UNC Chapel Hill, get enough scholarships so my parents wouldn't have to pay, go right to college, then grad school somewhere, then start working. But the older I got the more I realized that in order to get the most out of my high school and college experience, I needed to give a little on the grip I so tightly held on my plan for success.

I never though about taking a gap year. Moreso, it seemed like a very bad decision to make. Most people think that when you don't go to school right away, that you probably won't go back, or that you will lose your momentum and struggle to assimilate back into the academic atmosphere after a year of being so wild and free. At first I agreed with that. I thought why wait? Every senior in high school knows the excitement and anticipation for college. And I didn't want to change so much during that year that I would lose the passion for all the things I thought I wanted up until that point. The more I learned about the gap year experience, from other studetns who had taken one, from the things I could do, the places I could go, the more I began to see an opportunity, rather than an obstacle for my education.

When I got the gap year fellowship application, I was intrigued. I had never even thought about taking a gap year, and thought the idea so out of my comfort zone, that it attracted me at once. So I applied; there wasn't a decision to make if I didn't receive the scholarship in the first place. It would be too expensive, too risky for me. When I brought it up to my parents, they were confused and a little worried. After every conversation about it, they would still ask, but why? I gave up at giving them explanations and merely said, why not? I like adventure, challenge, and accepting opportunities that present themselves. I have learned and experienced very much just from saying yes to opportunities. Such things like, going camping for the first time in my life, attending a korean bible study, and now, taking a gap year.

Now, I am in Italy, a place I thought I would maybe visit in my distant future. I have traveled by myself, left my family (which is a huge deal and maybe the hardest part), worked on an olive farm owned by a German family, learned a little bit of Italian, eaten some of the weirdest and most delicious foods, watched the sun rise in London, and much, much more still to go.

When I return and begin my long awaited Tarheel family, I know I will be a different person, but different for the better. I will have a more global mindset; my world will have expanded and won't just consist of my hometown, friends, and family. I will be ready to take on the challenges of college, knowing that after what I have been through, there will be nothing that I can't try. I will be refreshed and hopefully have a better idea of what I want to do at Carolina.

My favorite parts of my trip have been: looking at the stars with the little light polution, being on the train and seeing mountains on my left and the ocean on my right at the same time, siting at the dinner table and feeling completely left out because I speak neither German nor Italian fluently, stopping for a second each day to realise where I am, looking back to see the scenery and thinking "this is where I live", and missing my parents, my sisters, my friends and family like never before. 

Being here, deciding to take a gap year, taking advantage of what the world has to offer me makes me thankful that I have the chance to do something I otherwise wouldn't have done. I also have some financial freedom while also learning to manage and budget it accordingly.

Sometimes I think, I should be somewhere on Carolina's campus right now; walking to class, talking with friends, but instead I will graduate a year later than I planned. It makes me appreciate that no matter what you think you have planned, God has something in store for all of us.