Apart from my volunteer work, I am also an Au-Pair. I help out a couple of hours a day with the chores and the children of the family I am staying with in exchange for room and food. Along with volunteering, it fills my days. I'm glad I chose to do this. I've learned a lot from this family. I think I have learned a valuable lesson from having to be a part of a family outside my own family. Especially since we are so different.
I help take care of Charlotte and Madisson, aged 18 and 4 months. They are beautiful little girls, Charlotte with red hair that when long enough will be in curls, and Maddie still a little bald. I also help out with chores, and clean the floors thoroughly once a week. Rebecca, the mom, is here with me while I help out. She isn't working right now because both of the girls are so young. I really felt I have made a difference in this family with my time here. They are a defense family, so a military family, and Cameron, the dad, has to be away often because of his job, leaving Rebecca to deal with the girls by herself, since they don't live near friends or family. This is where they are posted for Cam's job, so they are new to the area too, and don't have many friends either.
I was greeted by Rebecca at the airport with one baby strapped to her cheat, and chasing the other energetic one around the waiting area. I knew it was them instantly. It wasn't until a couple of days into helping that I realized how much I was actually helping.
After chores one day, Rebecca said, wow, I've never finished chows this quick before, and she fell asleep on the couch. A very much needed and well deserved nap. Apart from being sleep deprived, because that is a given with young children, she was also being literally drained of her energy when breast feeding.
I was really glad I was helping her as much as I was. Just the little things, like picking up after dinner, playing with the girls, made sure they were getting the attention they deserved, and taking some of the weight off her shoulders. Being a mom was her full time job, and she does an excellent job, exhausting, but excellent. I really admire her for the dedication she has to her girls, and think how lucky she is that she gets to be there for every moment. Every giggle, every roll, every first wee in the potty, she would celebrate with her girls. I knew that when my day comes, I want to be there for that too. Australians get more maternity leave than Americans do, but Rebecca has more because she isn't working and because she had two so close together. Still, I don't want my job to get in the way of my being a mom. And now I find myself conflicted between the new world desire of being a successful woman with a career and financial stability and safety, to thinking about gender roles, and how I really want to be the mom that packs lunches, and embarrasses their kids at school events, and has dinner ready every night. But I still have time to think about that, for now. If and when it happens, it will be in the distant future, because I can't do either, female with a career, or child bearing housewife without first being prepared. And living with this family has me confident that I will be more than prepared when my time comes.
I've worked on my patience, I can color for hours on end, I've worked on my housewife skills, cooking and cleaning for other people requires you to exceed your standards in order to make sure everyone is happy with your performance. Rebecca has taught me the importance that order and cleanliness play in a safe and effective family atmosphere. We also eat dinner together almost every night. Same set up, set the table, drinks, plates and silver ware, and a meal shared as a family. It's not that I don't get that, it's just that it's more structured and consistent here. Like a stereotypical perfect family. We aren't perfect, but the Lane family definitely puts in that extra effort. I've learned how to keep both girls happy, and that I won't always be successful in my attempts. I've also learned what a vital role the mother plays in the family. She can always pull stuff together when all else fails, and she is the only one who can make the girls happy every time. I might be able to most of the time, but she can every time. Ive also seen how tiring it is, not just parenthood, but marriage, marriage with parenthood is just something else on its own. And I realize that while we go to school so that the few of us who are going to have careers, can get educated Ina specific job field. People are missing the only positions that are definite, that every one will hold, education or no education; a parent and a spouse. Okay, we have our degrees, and our careers, but how to we functions as mothers and wives? When the first thought of how to prepare for this doesn't hit till we are about to cross the threshold.
I feel like I will be prepared now. Having helped raise a few kids along the way, seen successful/ unsuccessful relationships inside and outside my family, I think I will have an idea about what's going on after I get my degree and have my career.
One of Rebecca's friends who came to visit asked, So what does the baby do all day, how do you now what's wrong with it. Probably never having changed a diaper in her life, this law school student, a good decade older than me, was closer to having a career than me, but I could see some stressful days of motherhood ahead of her.
Another of Rebecca's friends thanked me, because it was evident that Rebecca's quality of life had improved since my arrival.
I've even got past that point of dreading to change diapers. There's something about changing diapers when you are a preteen that just makes it wrong on so many emotional, psychological, physical levels, that I hated it with a passion. Pretended I didn't notice, tried to hand off the duty to someone else. But now, I'm a pro, don't see it as a burden, but as something that gets done. I think I have that mother instinct although I'm not a mother myself. I'm glad to have these skills for the future.
Also, when people make fun of me for working on a farm, for being a maid and a nanny, instead of going straight to school, I take it in, and it only makes me more certain that not only am I more prepared than these people will ever be, I welcome the lessons of hard work, the lifestyle of generations of far workers before me, and the healthy and clean habits I have developed early, and pray that they are quick learners.
And so to motherhood, a time of my life I look forward to, and in
It's due time, I welcome the challenges and happiness you will bring, hoping that in the future I am even more prepared and eager for your arrival. Because although we retire from our jobs, and our lives settle down and change, we never stop being mothers or fathers.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
Australia!!
I'm writing about Australia after having beed here for about a month and I love it! Especially where I live in Cairns, Queensland. It feels like El Salvador with the monsoon rains, the palm trees, and the heat! I love it. A gay medium in Milan once told me that I draw my strength from the sun, and I believe him.
And my host family, they are great! They are really nice to me and I have my own room and bathroom. So much better than the Italy situation. They feed me great food, I will never go hungry. And I tried Kangaroo! I haven't seen one yet, but I ate one. It was kinda rough, sort of like beef, but it had this distinct earthy taste. I told my sister it was good, but I don't think I'll be home and say, "Hmm, I'm thinking Kangaroo tonight, what do you say guys?" Of course all my cousins told me to make Kangaroo tacos. Mexicans. -_-
I got volunteer work fairly quickly at a Salvation Army right down the street from the neighbourhood where I live. I volunteered the same day I filled out my paperwork. I'm working on volunteering in more places, like with the Red Cross and Meals on Wheels. But the Red Cross has more paperwork than my college applications! I guess that just makes it legit. Anyway, I have an appointment with FNQ volunteers to see what opportunities they may have also. I want a little more variety, and all the dust from the Salvation Army, which I go through every time I'm there, makes me come home with a runny nose and sneezing. Not good.
My host family has two little girls: Charlotte who is 18 months, and Maddison who is 4 months, or around there. The dad is in defence, or the military, and the mom stays at home and works maybe one or two days a month, but her real work is here at home where she raises her beautiful little girls. I help out by cleaning so Rebecca can spend time with her girls, or I play with the girls so Rebecca can handle business. She's kinda OCD and a perfectionist, but that pushes me to be cleaner and more organised, which will definitely help in college. They give me a lot of flexibility which is great for my volunteer work, and I also babysit the girls once they are asleep at times so that Rebecca and her hubby can have a night out just the two of them. I think that is super important for their relationship, especially with the challenges that raising two little ones close in age, work, and home can present. And since I have like two friends other than my host family, I don't too much to do on weekend nights.
I did go out one Saturday in the pouring rain, but I thought, I've gone pub crawling in Rome, in a blizzard! This is nothing. So I went to the only Latin music spot in town, by myself. It was great music, and I was surprised to see the skill and talent the dancers had. There were about twenty people there and most weren't of Latino origin. Overall, I danced, mostly with myself, other than a few old men, and this really tall Brazilian guy who liked me a little too much. It was a good time, but I'm sure the scene is the same every weekend.
On another note, the first day my host family let me take out the car by myself. I went and hit another car. I thought the whole, steering wheel on the right, drive on the left was going to be a problem, but it wasn't. I had already arrived at my destination. I was parking! Not even parallel parking, just drive into the spot. And I measured it wrong and hit another car. I was going to the gym to try out a class, I needed to loose that Italy pizza weight, and it happened. I missed my class of course, and managed to catch the lady whose car I hit as she was leaving. I felt so stupid. I was going like five miles an hour. I felt terrible about going home to tell my host parents. And on top of that, I didn't even take tennis shoes for the gym. Not my day.
Luckily, my host parents were cool about it and didn't kick me out. I'm very grateful to them for being understanding and not kicking me out. It wasn't bad damage since it was a low speed collision, but when I told my cousins back home, they all laughed at me. It was kinda funny, so I laughed too.
Australia has been great so far, and I'm sure I'm really going to enjoy my time here. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Oye, Oye, Oye!!
And my host family, they are great! They are really nice to me and I have my own room and bathroom. So much better than the Italy situation. They feed me great food, I will never go hungry. And I tried Kangaroo! I haven't seen one yet, but I ate one. It was kinda rough, sort of like beef, but it had this distinct earthy taste. I told my sister it was good, but I don't think I'll be home and say, "Hmm, I'm thinking Kangaroo tonight, what do you say guys?" Of course all my cousins told me to make Kangaroo tacos. Mexicans. -_-
I got volunteer work fairly quickly at a Salvation Army right down the street from the neighbourhood where I live. I volunteered the same day I filled out my paperwork. I'm working on volunteering in more places, like with the Red Cross and Meals on Wheels. But the Red Cross has more paperwork than my college applications! I guess that just makes it legit. Anyway, I have an appointment with FNQ volunteers to see what opportunities they may have also. I want a little more variety, and all the dust from the Salvation Army, which I go through every time I'm there, makes me come home with a runny nose and sneezing. Not good.
My host family has two little girls: Charlotte who is 18 months, and Maddison who is 4 months, or around there. The dad is in defence, or the military, and the mom stays at home and works maybe one or two days a month, but her real work is here at home where she raises her beautiful little girls. I help out by cleaning so Rebecca can spend time with her girls, or I play with the girls so Rebecca can handle business. She's kinda OCD and a perfectionist, but that pushes me to be cleaner and more organised, which will definitely help in college. They give me a lot of flexibility which is great for my volunteer work, and I also babysit the girls once they are asleep at times so that Rebecca and her hubby can have a night out just the two of them. I think that is super important for their relationship, especially with the challenges that raising two little ones close in age, work, and home can present. And since I have like two friends other than my host family, I don't too much to do on weekend nights.
I did go out one Saturday in the pouring rain, but I thought, I've gone pub crawling in Rome, in a blizzard! This is nothing. So I went to the only Latin music spot in town, by myself. It was great music, and I was surprised to see the skill and talent the dancers had. There were about twenty people there and most weren't of Latino origin. Overall, I danced, mostly with myself, other than a few old men, and this really tall Brazilian guy who liked me a little too much. It was a good time, but I'm sure the scene is the same every weekend.
On another note, the first day my host family let me take out the car by myself. I went and hit another car. I thought the whole, steering wheel on the right, drive on the left was going to be a problem, but it wasn't. I had already arrived at my destination. I was parking! Not even parallel parking, just drive into the spot. And I measured it wrong and hit another car. I was going to the gym to try out a class, I needed to loose that Italy pizza weight, and it happened. I missed my class of course, and managed to catch the lady whose car I hit as she was leaving. I felt so stupid. I was going like five miles an hour. I felt terrible about going home to tell my host parents. And on top of that, I didn't even take tennis shoes for the gym. Not my day.
Luckily, my host parents were cool about it and didn't kick me out. I'm very grateful to them for being understanding and not kicking me out. It wasn't bad damage since it was a low speed collision, but when I told my cousins back home, they all laughed at me. It was kinda funny, so I laughed too.
Australia has been great so far, and I'm sure I'm really going to enjoy my time here. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Oye, Oye, Oye!!
Cioa, Italia
When I returned to Italy after the wedding, I knew I would be leaving soon, so I made sure I ate as much pizza as possible for the remainder of my time there. I mean pizza everyday, usually twice a day, and gelato like three times a week. I'm pretty sure that the work I did at the churches wasn't enough to burn off all those pizza calories, and I gained like ten pounds!! Oh well, my pocket wasn't empty, but my belly was, so hell, more pizza!! It's my favourite food if you can't tell.
I was so lucky to have spent my last days in Italy with Amy. Volunteering with someone you know if like ten times better than doing it alone. There is always someone to talk to, and less of the awkward, Ciao, sono Cecilia, escusa, solo parlo un pou da Italiano. Which is probably not even correct anyway. My Italian was good enough to defend myself, but it was still a mix of Italian and Spanish, which I dubbed, Spangtalian, with an American accent. Haha.
Rome was the best. It was way better than Milan. Although Milan had better pizza.
Our last days in Italy were graced by by a blizzard! An event that hasn't happened in the last twenty five years in Rome, and we were there to see it. It was beautiful. Especially at three in the morning when no one was out, it was quiet, and you could hear the snow fall, as it lightly covered the Colosseum.
I parted with Amy with hugs and plenty of "Ciao Bella" and "O Dio" being yelled across the train station.
After that, it was on to Singapore and to Australia a trip that would take me about five days. Bring it on!
I was so lucky to have spent my last days in Italy with Amy. Volunteering with someone you know if like ten times better than doing it alone. There is always someone to talk to, and less of the awkward, Ciao, sono Cecilia, escusa, solo parlo un pou da Italiano. Which is probably not even correct anyway. My Italian was good enough to defend myself, but it was still a mix of Italian and Spanish, which I dubbed, Spangtalian, with an American accent. Haha.
Rome was the best. It was way better than Milan. Although Milan had better pizza.
Our last days in Italy were graced by by a blizzard! An event that hasn't happened in the last twenty five years in Rome, and we were there to see it. It was beautiful. Especially at three in the morning when no one was out, it was quiet, and you could hear the snow fall, as it lightly covered the Colosseum.
I parted with Amy with hugs and plenty of "Ciao Bella" and "O Dio" being yelled across the train station.
After that, it was on to Singapore and to Australia a trip that would take me about five days. Bring it on!
Home for the Holidays, and a Wedding!!
I couldn't believe I was going home. I was so ready after all I had been through. I was ready to be safe, in my bed, in my house, with all my stuff, my family, my cat, my car! I was so excited! And, not only would I be there for Christmas and New Year's, my big sister was getting married!! And I, was the maid of honor! Yay!
I'd been feeling a little guilty because I hadn't been able to help with any planning or anything. But my sister married a wonderful man, and she had her other sisters and family that were helping out, too.
I got to the airport in DC, collected my bags and walked out thinking, she won't be there, she's never on time... but sure enough, she was one of the first faces I saw. My sister! I missed her so much. We hugged and cried and it felt so good! Only five hours and I would be home to see my mommy and daddy too!
Being reunited with my family was exactly what I needed. I love them so much, I missed their crazy antics, the drama, the chaos, the laughs and especially the food!!
After settling back in, I spent most of my days watching the rest of the Battle Star Galactica series and decorating the vases for my sisters wedding. 18 Cecilia Polanco originals, black and white unique designs with puff paint. It was so much fun, once I got past the imagination part. Doing artistic things is something I miss doing. Even though I decorated the floor of my room on the farm in Tuscany while I was woofing with colourful chalk drawings.
And then, I also assembled the bouquet for my sister to walk down the isle with! About forty brooches, a lot of flower wire and floral tape, my sister's vision, and some pearl tipped pins and it was done. It looked fantastic, only my sister would.
So the wedding was fabulous! Food for days, I cried more than I had in the last three months I was abroad, and that was a lot! Dancing, food, family from all over the states, and a big new year's bash to top it all off, oh and the best part, was midnight pupusas!!
When the clock strikes twelve, I'm not sure what it is, but everyone in my family cries. As we spend the first half hour of the new year embracing and kissing our loved ones, I know that I wouldn't have missed this for the world. And then my cousin, who was also the DJ, plays this melancholic song that they played in the Sex and the City movie when Carried runs to meet Miranda on New Year's so she won't be alone, and I cried for days! It was such a good feeling. It was great to be home.
After the wedding, I packed my bags and was off again in five days. I was sad to leave, but I was also excited about what awaited me. I knew that this time, it wouldn't be as hard, and that I was going to have a blast with what awaited me.
I'd been feeling a little guilty because I hadn't been able to help with any planning or anything. But my sister married a wonderful man, and she had her other sisters and family that were helping out, too.
I got to the airport in DC, collected my bags and walked out thinking, she won't be there, she's never on time... but sure enough, she was one of the first faces I saw. My sister! I missed her so much. We hugged and cried and it felt so good! Only five hours and I would be home to see my mommy and daddy too!
Being reunited with my family was exactly what I needed. I love them so much, I missed their crazy antics, the drama, the chaos, the laughs and especially the food!!
After settling back in, I spent most of my days watching the rest of the Battle Star Galactica series and decorating the vases for my sisters wedding. 18 Cecilia Polanco originals, black and white unique designs with puff paint. It was so much fun, once I got past the imagination part. Doing artistic things is something I miss doing. Even though I decorated the floor of my room on the farm in Tuscany while I was woofing with colourful chalk drawings.
And then, I also assembled the bouquet for my sister to walk down the isle with! About forty brooches, a lot of flower wire and floral tape, my sister's vision, and some pearl tipped pins and it was done. It looked fantastic, only my sister would.
So the wedding was fabulous! Food for days, I cried more than I had in the last three months I was abroad, and that was a lot! Dancing, food, family from all over the states, and a big new year's bash to top it all off, oh and the best part, was midnight pupusas!!
When the clock strikes twelve, I'm not sure what it is, but everyone in my family cries. As we spend the first half hour of the new year embracing and kissing our loved ones, I know that I wouldn't have missed this for the world. And then my cousin, who was also the DJ, plays this melancholic song that they played in the Sex and the City movie when Carried runs to meet Miranda on New Year's so she won't be alone, and I cried for days! It was such a good feeling. It was great to be home.
After the wedding, I packed my bags and was off again in five days. I was sad to leave, but I was also excited about what awaited me. I knew that this time, it wouldn't be as hard, and that I was going to have a blast with what awaited me.
My Lesbian Landlady
This is something that is hard for me to talk about and I didn't think I would come out and blog about it. But I feel enough time has passed that I feel comfortable talking about it and it is something I can look back at and laugh.
So I went to Italy with plans of staying with family there. My aunt was living there with one of her daughters. I know my aunt from times I have been to El Salvador and even though she is my grandmother's half sister, in my family we don't discriminate, being that I also have a half sister. Anyway, I was going to Italy to a familiar face, but my cousin that she lived with I had never met.
They were nice enough to take me in, give me a place to sleep, and food to eat, and also allowed me to come and go from volunteer projects as I pleased. I thank them and appreciate them for that. I don't think I would have coped well with the transition if it wasn't as smooth as they helped it to be.
The only thing was that my cousin wasn't in a good part of her life at the time. She was having husband and financial difficulties and kept saying how hard life was for her. While I stayed with my cousin, whenever I wasn't out volunteering, I was at home, either listening to my aunt about how much she wanted to go back home to El Salvador, or to my cousin about her man, money, and life problems.
I find that on my gap year, I have made a huge difference in the lives of the people I have stayed with. Every single person wants to talk and be heard, and it is always about their problems, sometimes about happy things, and at times, talking just to talk.
Anyway, it came the time that my cousin said she could not have me at her house anymore. She let me stay there for free, other than me pitching in for groceries now and then, and I appreciated everything she did for me, so I just accepted and moved on. She did connect me with her ex-husband's cousin who I understood was renting a room. So I decided to move in there, since I really didn't have any other choice.
It was great at first. Everyone was super nice to me because I was young and because I was away from my family. But they started to put ideas into my head about my cousin and why she kicked me out. Apparently my cousin had been calling my new landlady Eva, and complaining about me. None of this she ever said to my face of course, even when I went to visit. It was all smiles and nice conversation.
But then I realised that at my landlady's house, she didn't have a room, she just had a bed, her bed at that! For some reason she liked sleeping in the kitchen so she rented her bed to me. I figured what the hell. I'm safe, I'm full, I'm clean, and these people are nice. It was just going to be my place to come and go out of anyway.
I'd been living there about a week and a half and after volunteering during the day, I spent my afternoons with my roommates. Two older Salvadorean women, who were both lesbians. That didn't bother me of course. I could care less, but it was interesting to live with them. The dirty jokes never ceased, and the laughs never did either. It was new, but nothing I couldn't deal with.
Until the day before my birthday. It was November 22nd, and we were having our usual dinner together after a day's work of volunteering and they were having a couple of drinks. I don't like the taste of beer so I participated with Coca Cola, usually something I never drink, but abroad, it had a bitter sweet taste of home.
After a couple of drinks, more than a couple of drinks, Eva, my landlady starts dedicating me songs. I'm flattered at first, because it was a nice gesture, and I wasn't uncomfortable until she just straight out confessed that she liked me, a lot. Oh lord that freaked me out. Not only was she not attractive, she was old! She was my mother's age and in this age in time, she could have been my grandmother! I was so grossed out I didn't know what to say. So that's why she was being so nice to me. Not just nice, but out of her way nice, like bringing me goodies from the bakery, buying Coca Cola because she knew I liked it. I thought it was pity, and I was okay with it. But not it just made me so uncomfortable, that night I cried myself to sleep. I wasn't afraid of her, I had just never been in that position ever sand the discomfort combined with being away from home, with being kicked out of my cousins house, just was a little too much for me.
After that, I made it clear to her that while I was flattered, I was not a lesbian, wasn't looking to experiment with her, and that if she crossed the line with me I would leave at the moment and I didn't care if I didn't know where I was going. She got the message, but she continued to be really nice to me. I told her, I'm not going to give you anything so if you are doing this to try and win me over. It's not going to work. And that's how I lived the last days of me living there, even after I returned from home, I told her, it's not going to work, you don't need to buy me that, I can buy it myself, but still she persisted. I must say though, she treated me better than a lot of guys have, haha. Now I can look back and laugh. Even as I was leaving Rome to come to Australia, she told me that if things didn't go well, I didn't have to suffer, she would buy me a ticket back to Italy. Yeah right! Like I would back down just because things got tough, and needless to say, why would I run to her? Back to Italy? Lord, you only give us what we can handle. Thank you, because you must think I am much stronger than I thought.
In all, I look back and just think, how many people not only have guys after them, but old Salvadorean ladies that want to give you everything? She said that to me once, you won't have to work, I'll take care of you. I said, funny, you sound just like a man. I think that pissed her off. But whatever, I don't need anyone to take care of me and give me everything. I have never lived that way and don't plan on starting now.
She is my friend on Facebook and I don't regret meeting her. After the not so friendly Welcome at my cousins, I got this a little too friendly lesbian landlady. Now I'm confident that I can deal with anything that comes my way. Phew, but I'm glad it's over.
So I went to Italy with plans of staying with family there. My aunt was living there with one of her daughters. I know my aunt from times I have been to El Salvador and even though she is my grandmother's half sister, in my family we don't discriminate, being that I also have a half sister. Anyway, I was going to Italy to a familiar face, but my cousin that she lived with I had never met.
They were nice enough to take me in, give me a place to sleep, and food to eat, and also allowed me to come and go from volunteer projects as I pleased. I thank them and appreciate them for that. I don't think I would have coped well with the transition if it wasn't as smooth as they helped it to be.
The only thing was that my cousin wasn't in a good part of her life at the time. She was having husband and financial difficulties and kept saying how hard life was for her. While I stayed with my cousin, whenever I wasn't out volunteering, I was at home, either listening to my aunt about how much she wanted to go back home to El Salvador, or to my cousin about her man, money, and life problems.
I find that on my gap year, I have made a huge difference in the lives of the people I have stayed with. Every single person wants to talk and be heard, and it is always about their problems, sometimes about happy things, and at times, talking just to talk.
Anyway, it came the time that my cousin said she could not have me at her house anymore. She let me stay there for free, other than me pitching in for groceries now and then, and I appreciated everything she did for me, so I just accepted and moved on. She did connect me with her ex-husband's cousin who I understood was renting a room. So I decided to move in there, since I really didn't have any other choice.
It was great at first. Everyone was super nice to me because I was young and because I was away from my family. But they started to put ideas into my head about my cousin and why she kicked me out. Apparently my cousin had been calling my new landlady Eva, and complaining about me. None of this she ever said to my face of course, even when I went to visit. It was all smiles and nice conversation.
But then I realised that at my landlady's house, she didn't have a room, she just had a bed, her bed at that! For some reason she liked sleeping in the kitchen so she rented her bed to me. I figured what the hell. I'm safe, I'm full, I'm clean, and these people are nice. It was just going to be my place to come and go out of anyway.
I'd been living there about a week and a half and after volunteering during the day, I spent my afternoons with my roommates. Two older Salvadorean women, who were both lesbians. That didn't bother me of course. I could care less, but it was interesting to live with them. The dirty jokes never ceased, and the laughs never did either. It was new, but nothing I couldn't deal with.
Until the day before my birthday. It was November 22nd, and we were having our usual dinner together after a day's work of volunteering and they were having a couple of drinks. I don't like the taste of beer so I participated with Coca Cola, usually something I never drink, but abroad, it had a bitter sweet taste of home.
After a couple of drinks, more than a couple of drinks, Eva, my landlady starts dedicating me songs. I'm flattered at first, because it was a nice gesture, and I wasn't uncomfortable until she just straight out confessed that she liked me, a lot. Oh lord that freaked me out. Not only was she not attractive, she was old! She was my mother's age and in this age in time, she could have been my grandmother! I was so grossed out I didn't know what to say. So that's why she was being so nice to me. Not just nice, but out of her way nice, like bringing me goodies from the bakery, buying Coca Cola because she knew I liked it. I thought it was pity, and I was okay with it. But not it just made me so uncomfortable, that night I cried myself to sleep. I wasn't afraid of her, I had just never been in that position ever sand the discomfort combined with being away from home, with being kicked out of my cousins house, just was a little too much for me.
After that, I made it clear to her that while I was flattered, I was not a lesbian, wasn't looking to experiment with her, and that if she crossed the line with me I would leave at the moment and I didn't care if I didn't know where I was going. She got the message, but she continued to be really nice to me. I told her, I'm not going to give you anything so if you are doing this to try and win me over. It's not going to work. And that's how I lived the last days of me living there, even after I returned from home, I told her, it's not going to work, you don't need to buy me that, I can buy it myself, but still she persisted. I must say though, she treated me better than a lot of guys have, haha. Now I can look back and laugh. Even as I was leaving Rome to come to Australia, she told me that if things didn't go well, I didn't have to suffer, she would buy me a ticket back to Italy. Yeah right! Like I would back down just because things got tough, and needless to say, why would I run to her? Back to Italy? Lord, you only give us what we can handle. Thank you, because you must think I am much stronger than I thought.
In all, I look back and just think, how many people not only have guys after them, but old Salvadorean ladies that want to give you everything? She said that to me once, you won't have to work, I'll take care of you. I said, funny, you sound just like a man. I think that pissed her off. But whatever, I don't need anyone to take care of me and give me everything. I have never lived that way and don't plan on starting now.
She is my friend on Facebook and I don't regret meeting her. After the not so friendly Welcome at my cousins, I got this a little too friendly lesbian landlady. Now I'm confident that I can deal with anything that comes my way. Phew, but I'm glad it's over.
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