Update from Sweden

I decided to come to Sweden the same way I decided to take a gap year; because I could. When an opportunity presents itself to me, I will most likely take it. After watching the movie, Yes Man, with Jim Carrey, it got me thinking about how I make decisions. It make me consider why I chose to say Yes and say No. When it came to meeting people, or doing something I had never done before, I usually sided with my fear. Taking the safe way and staying in my comfort zone and saying No. But I began to try new things and I liked it. I developed a new mind set and thought, if I have no real reason to say No, I will say Yes and see where life takes me.
With that mind set, I not only applied for the gap year scholarship, but I put aside the conventional way I used to think and postponed going to college. Now, I find myself in Sweden visiting my friend Anna. I honestly thought I would never see her again after she left America. But I told myself that if the opportunity to come to Sweden and see her again ever arose, I would take it. And here I am :) I have seen Milan, parts of Tuscany, been to airports in London and Germany, made friends with people from all over the world and travelled by myself. All things I didn't see happening so soon, or at all for that matter.
Being in Europe has helped me see how plausible things I thought were impossible are. I see now how much I limit myself, how much I underestimated myself, and now I want to stop dreaming and planning about doing things and actually go out and do them.
In December I will go to Spain and see Barcelona. I am very excited to go there, but have not decided if I hate traveling or love it. The stress of getting places I have never been, trying to communicate with people through means of charades and hand gestures, being lost at airports, going through security multiple times, hearing "Welcome to Stockhom", seeing long lost friends again, meeting new ones, and the victory that making it where I am trying to get is in itself.
I love the feeling of being in a new place. I love moments when I stop, look back, look around, and think  "Where the hell am I?" or "What the hell am I doing here?". I smile to myself, giggle out loud, and don't care who is looking. Because no one knows who I am, what I am going through, and will probably never see me again.
I am getting used to being alone and have learned not to talk to myself, not to worry if someone saw me do something stupid (because they probably did and don't care), and to walk like I know where I am going even if I don't.
When it comes to my volunteer work, so far I have volunteered with UNICEF selling orchids, helped out at a local church in Milan, worked on a farm owned by Germans and harvested olives. This week I will go to Anna's school and help out in the English and Spanish classes while she goes to class. Then... I will go wherever life takes me :)